Chapter 2: Aloft in the Clarke's Scale or Adventures In Zanussi

The previous tenants (both GPs) were kind enough to leave us their dishwasher.
"It's a bit old" they said. "It doesn't wash as well as it used to."

This morning, after a spot of verbal squirrel abuse, I perused the instruction manual online. It mentioned dark and arcane things such as Cleaning the Filters (Small and Large) and The Necessity for Salt in Hard Water Areas. The filters were duly examined, as was the washing arm, plumbing etc etc (one likes to know how things go).

I rapidly came to the conclusion that the reason why "it doesn't wash as well as it used to" might well be that almost the entirety of the mechanical parts was embedded in easily three quarters of an inch of limescale. Eventually I did manage to winkle out the filter (large), dislodging what appeared to be a significant portion of Beachy Head* in the process. The rotating (how!?) arm likewise. The excresences of chalk thereupon eventually yielded to judicious prodding to reveal HOLES, through which one assumes water should spout, thus cleaning ones dishes.

I think I may have missed my vocation.

*I once threw the collected works of David Eddings off the top once, but that is another story.